BACTERIA WILL RULE THE WORLD!
by dragonfly-child
Summary: TITLE FOR STORY WILL BE EXPLAINED IN CHAPTER 3 BEWARE OF RANDOMNESS IN CHAP. 3 Everything will come together a bit CHAPTER 3 UP! please read and review^__________^
1. Chapter 1

Ron's mystery report  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, but this plot and Ron's report so you can't be going around making a story about Bacteria Ruling the World! (Screams) Light Bulb Blew out now its pitch black (screams and trips and falls) I tripped on a rubber ducky! (Screams again) It's a glow in the dark poster of Elton John (screams again) Another glow in the dark poster of Elton John! GET EM AWAY!  
  
"Ron!" Hermione squealed with delight, glancing at Ron's report on Bubble Boil Brew. "How on earth did you get your report to be that long?" She asked.  
  
"I found Snape's potions report hard to write about," Harry explained. " I mean, in the book we got out about it all it told us about Bubble Boil Brew was it bubbles, you have to boil it, and it is a brew for something called- uh I forget. Well anyway, I really got to hand it to ya buddy, you'll get an A for sure!" Harry said patting Ron on the back. Hermione nodded in agreement.  
  
"I'm still wondering Ron," Hermione said looking down at her parchment. "Yours is so much longer than mine, there's no possible way to get that much information about Bubble Boil Brew with that book I checked out." She clarified. "And I know you would never put that much effort into one report" She muttered.  
  
"Well," said Ron. "I just wrote what I knew!" Hermione shook her head and rolled her eyes.  
  
"Ron, you don't even pay attention in class, how could you know that much about Bubble Boil Brew?" Harry asked. Ron shrugged, and suddenly the bell rang.  
  
"OFF TO POTIONS CLASS!" Ron said in a foolish voice as he skipped off to the dungeons as Harry and Hermione trudged behind him.  
  
When the trio arrived at the classroom, they sat in their seats and took out their reports. Hermione kept striating her parchment, like the muggles do with the iron on clothing. She obviously wanted the paper to look nice for Snape so he would make a good impression on her paper (AN: Slim chance 'mione LoL)  
  
Snape was sitting at his desk waiting for the class to become quiet. He waited for a minute or so, and the class still didn't notice he was in the room.  
  
"QUIET YOU FOOLS!" Snape blundered with an angry look on his face. "Reports will be collected," Snape said. The class froze. "NOW!" he screamed as the class rushed to get their reports from their bags.  
  
Snape rose from his seat and started picking up student's papers making statements here. And these statements were so stupid!  
  
"Mr. Thomas, you have a smudge on the right hand corner, next time make sure that there are no smudges!" he snapped at Dean who rolled his eyes  
  
"Ms. Brown, your name is written with frightful penmanship, re-write it for me." He ordered and Lavender quickly tried to write her name neater than before.  
  
Snape had made no bad remarks to the Slytherins.  
  
As Snape came around to Ron he picked up his paper and glanced at the long piece of parchment.  
  
"Mr. Weasley, your parchment is longer than usual, you better knock my socks off and dazzle and WOW me with it" he grumbled at Ron.  
  
"Oh it will Professor" Ron grinned. " It will"  
  
When Snape got over to the shaking Neville (without his paper) Snape slapped an evil sort of grin on his face.  
  
"Mr. Longbottom," Snape said peering over at Neville. Neville quivered and looked up at Snape.  
  
"Y- yes Professor?" He squeaked softly, then he gulped.  
  
"Where's your report?" Snape asked as he cocked his head right into Neville's face still grinning. Neville's eyes filled with tears.  
  
"S-Seamus ate it p-p-professor" He stuttered as a tear trickled down his face. Snape brought his head back away from Neville's face as he raised his right eyebrow.  
  
"Likely story Longbotttom" Snape spat "Oh yes and I believe you have a detention with me in my office at 8 o'clock" Snape added.  
  
"Wh-Wh-When did that h-h-h-happen Professor?" Neville asked.  
  
"A few seconds ago when you told me Finnagin ate your report." Snape snarled. Neville sank in his seat.  
  
"I'm not lying Professor, Seamus really did eat my-" But Neville couldn't tell Snape because he cut him off with his loud voice.  
  
"NOW! I'm going to give you a worksheet, that you should finish this class!" Snape explained. He placed a good amount of papers on Lavender's desk. She looked at the papers, then at Snape.  
  
"Should I pass these worksheets out?" She asked quietly. Snape chuckled.  
  
"That is your worksheet Ms. Brown." He said. Some of the Slytherin's snickered. Lavender sighed at the pile of papers on her desk.  
  
"I would like you to do the whole worksheet, front and back!" Snape said placing more 'worksheets' on student's desks.  
  
After he was done he sat down at his desk. "While your doing this pointless worksheet, that is not being graded or being collected, I will be sitting at my desk while I grade your reports." Snape said. The students all looked up at Snape. "WELL WHAT ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR?" Snape screeched. "BEGIN!" ____________________________________________________________________________ _  
  
I shall continue. I have the next chapter all planned out in my fanfiction notebook I just need to type it up, which will be between now and Friday. So please read the next chapter! Please review and I will be very happy to put you name- IN THE CREDITS OF MY STORY! Ta da! Hee hee ^___________^ 


	2. Chapter 2: part 1

AN: Hello! I'm back again! I got the light bulb down here in my computer room to work and I ripped those glow in the dark Elton John posters off my wall and I stuck up Dan Radcliffe and Elijah Wood posters (don't worry, they don't glow in the dark) Also KOMODO DRAGONS RULE! (Screams) YAY! Only the people from my school would get it. We have teams (that are named after endangered animals) and we had a bit like an Olympics at our school and we won! YAY! And, I was in the jump roping competition! I got in like 10th place like out of 30 peoples, I say that's good, considering my legs starting turning to jelly after 2 minutes lol well anyway- STUPID LIGHT BULB BLEW OUT AGAIN! Just read the story peoples.  
  
Snape looked at all the reports on his desk. He got out his quill and his red ink. He took the first report off the top. Granger. "Hmmmm," he thought to himself. "Since she is such a know it all F+."  
  
And so he went on grading Finnagin D+, Malfoy A+, Brown D-, Goyle B+, Potter (of course) F, Crabbe B, Thomas C-  
  
Of course Snape wasn't really grading, he was just putting letters on their papers and circling them, and putting on some of the Slytherin's papers 'good job!' or 'Great work!'  
  
After he was done grading all but one report he looked at the clock.  
  
"It's only 1:17. We still have about an hour and a half or this class- might as well read this last one-" Snape said picking up the last report. He recognized that scribble scrabble handwriting, he couldn't quite read the name- wait this was Weasly's report!  
  
Even if this report were good, he'd still give it an F. And so Snape read the title 'How the World will end'  
  
'wow that's a strange title for a Bubble Boil Brew Report' Snape thought.  
  
OOOOOOOOO scary cliffhanger! Ok well not really but. I'm sorry this was a bit short, I promise the next chapter and the one following will be longer. I still haven't fixed this light bulb- I found some old popcorn back behind my chair and OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK IS THAT! It's a -a -a NO A GLOW IN THE DARK POSTER OF SONY AND CHER! GET IT AWAY!  
  
CREDIT TIME! ^_____________^ Thankie to-  
  
UnseenStag- you were my first reviewer on this story! (Princess Flower Child (me) gives them a big hug) Thankie for the review!  
  
Steph: Thanx for readin my story- see ya at school! 


	3. Chapter 3 Rons report

AN: Hello this is the moment you've all been waiting for- (screams) SONY AND CHER POSTERS ROSE FROM THE DEAD! (Rips posters off walls) I still haven't fixed that light bulb- so I need to go buy one-  
  
Ron's report  
  
How the world will end  
  
By: Ronald Weasley  
  
Humans, right now these strange creatures rule the world. They can be so- strange at times. They argue over stupid things, they don't enjoy eating bugs, and they can kill any other creature if they want to, they'll always find some way.  
  
Humans are at the top of the food chain, nothing wants to eat them. But did you ever think about the smallest of all creatures (bacteria) just taking over the humans and killing them? I don't think you did. In the future, bacteria will kill all humans off the face of this Earth. They shall only kill them though- for they have minds of their own.  
  
In 10,976 AD, a famous Amoebae named Glarble Shlotskin was that bacteria with the idea to kill all humans that way- THEY WOULD RULE THE WHOLE WORLD! Shlotskin made speeches to get other bacteria's on his side. His speeches were very convincing and even some of the bacteria that where allies to the humans, came over to Shlotskin's side.  
  
Shlotskin made plans for amoebas, ugleanas (AN/ don't mind my bacteria spelling mistakes) funguses, molds, paramecium, and protists to be apart of his plan- and to give all humans. And they would give them all an incurable disease. Victory was right in the face of Glarble Shlotskin, and he took at risk to get that victory. He lost his wife, and his two sons.  
  
But now Bacteria had control of the world. They had killed every single human off the face of Earth. Shlotskin even made sure that the human's dolls (also known as Barbie's) were sent into outer space and shoved into a black hole near Jupiter.  
  
But Shlotskin's time was over though, the other bacteria were thinking he was getting too much power, so one hot summer day, three paramecium named Octala, Fershna, ad Bubba threw Shlotskin into a volcano. That was the end of Glarble Shlotskin, but not the age of Bacteria. Bacteria had control of the earth for about 300 more years, killing animals and plants.  
  
But one day trees (AN: ents to all you LOTR fans) the biggest among creatures were to destroy these tiny killing machines.  
  
One tree was frustrated that the smallest things were killing his family and friends and ruling the world. So he had a plan, he had to make trees overpopulate the bacteria, and then take all power. His name was Edric Zandel.  
  
In 11,301 AD, Zandel and his followers were in full gear and action. Zandel's team created a potion called bubble boil brew (also known as Lysol to the muggles) this potion killed most bacteria (it only killed 99.9% read the Lysol can you have with all your cleaning supplies) And the Tree Age began.  
  
Soon, around 11,307 AD, trees were everywhere. They were in the Sahara Desert to Alaska. Every two steps you walked- there was a tree right in front of you.  
  
But the trees went a little overboard, they soon started making more land for themselves to live on, and they started drying up the oceans. By 11,314 AD there was barley nothing left of the Atlantic Ocean. The gnomes of the Earth were furious. These small Santa Clause like people tried chopping down the trees with their small ceramic axes, but it was no use, the axes kept breaking and cracking in half. These gnomes were very fond of fishing and they were running out of places to fish. But Zandel didn't care, all he wanted was total world control.  
  
But Zandel fell to his death (literally) in 11,317 AD. A flamingo named Farfignewton was sunning her self and Zandel came along and started shading her sunlight. She was very mad at him and she chopped him down with her beak. The trees were horrified of Farfignewton. They all were now dancing when she told them to dance, singing when she wanted them to sing, and jumping off cliffs when she told them to jump off cliffs.  
  
This was the beginning of the Flamingo Age. Farfignewton wasn't as bad as she sounded. She had never told the trees to jump off cliffs, but if she had told them that those trees would have. But she did lower the population of trees and she did start trying to grow back oceans and rivers and lakes.  
  
Farfignewton was a national hero to most creatures. She was also apart of a flamingo clan called then hippie flamingos, and there plan was to make the whole world live in peace, and that's exactly what Farfignewton did. She helped hobbit-sized creatures get better reputations.  
  
The Flamingo's were very successful, and they ruled the world for another 515 years.  
  
In 11,828 AD the gnomes rebelled against the flamingo's. The gnomes still didn't have enough water to go fishing, and the fishes were still endangered.  
  
A gnome named Chuckie Swashna (AN yo Ami, thanx for the Chuckie's last name lol) was the leader of these gnomes. He began riots in flamingo clans and he wasn't stopping until he got a way to make fishing legal.  
  
And Flaminog's did fall, but not of the gnomes (there pansy peoples) the flamingo's had civil wars against each other. The civil wars began because the flamingo's that lived in New York had a New York accent and that was different to the flamingo's that lived in Ohio.  
  
There were two teams fighting the flamingo's who thought the New York accents were fine, and the one who thought having a silly accent like that was weakening the economy and that it should be banned from the flamingo world.  
  
There was Flamingo's dying everyday, and gnomes, ha, they just watches the flamingo's kill each other, and when a flamingo was killed they grabbed the flamingo, brought it to there village and ate it for dinner.  
  
By 11,830 AD the flamingo population lowered all the way down to 1,000. The civil wars had ended, and so had the flamingo age.  
  
Gnomes took control over the world now. This was to be called the gnome age. But by now the gnomes didn't really care about fishing- they were into potato harvesting and banana planting! '  
  
Gnomes became a bit more intelligent in this age, and instead of having ceramic weapons, they made them out of stone and other hard materials.  
  
Gnomes had no dictators or emperors, only leaders, like Chuckie Swashna who was the leader of the fish demand club. Gnomes were also peaceful people (AN: much like hobbits all you LOTR fans)  
  
These hobbit-like people had a law, that you must get at least 6 hugs a day- sounds stupid but it was a law.  
  
But, Gnomes could not rule for long, they were too soft (but they thought they were the strong warrior type) But we hate to brake it to ya gnomes you never were warrior like.  
  
The last day of the gnome age (May 8, 11,855 AD) the gnomes lost there power the their potato crops got up and started-  
  
"TAP DANCING?!" A gnoman farmer screamed when he looked at his potatoes. His name was Tom Bunshaloo. And he wasn't dreaming, every potato in the Gnome City's got up and starting tap dancing. The farmers where dumbfounded and just sat there all day staring at their potato crops trying to figure out how this happened.  
  
When the farmers least expected it, the potatoes bit off there noses And since gnomes were so fragile, they died.  
  
The wold potatoes went on an evil rampage and bit off every single gnome's noes.  
  
These potatoes only ruled for one week. That period was short- too short to even be called the potato age.  
  
But something happened to these potatoes- Bacteria starting decaying them- faster then ever.  
  
The Bacteria's were starting to rule the world all over again and not even the strongest Kangaroo, Jackie Legs, could beat these evil bacteria things.  
  
The small creatures ruled for another 300 years. The problem was, the sun looked like it was getting bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and the bacteria were starting to get concerned.  
  
In 12,156 the Sun exploded. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!! The bacteria all melted, and the sun destroyed Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars!  
  
Now what replaced these planets were black holes leading to other planets.  
  
The Sun was now a black hole leading to butterfly world, where it had nothing to do with butterflies, Mercury; led to the planet Shnaralot, a planet with nothing but Christmas trees and Christmas tree ornaments, and everyday it is not Christmas, there is never a Christmas on that planet. Venus now led to the planet Mungopole, a planet with nothing but coffeepots and vacuum cleaners. Earth led to the Barbies that the Bacteria threw into space a long while ago in 10, 976 AD. And Mars led to a cookie cutter world, were kitchen sinks ruled.  
  
But anyway on Neptune was a world- and it was the same thing was earth, and everything repeated itself, that means there will be another you Professor Snape! And there will be another me! And I'll be just as good as annoying you!  
  
Ah these humans on the planet Neptune, right now, these strange creatures rule the world...  
  
Thankie peoples! Next chapter comin up soon- not Sat- well maybe Sat I'm going snowboarding then (YAY)  
  
Divine-Bovines- thankie for the review, you are my second reviewer, and I shall go to Wal-Mart to pick up those light bulbs. I do have some Sean Biggerstaff posters, (I'll use put em up later for ya when I pick up some scotch tape) I have to go get some scotch tape at the Wal-Mart too- 


End file.
